OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
