so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
