They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
