My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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