dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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