I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
that is very illegal...i love you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
