That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
