Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
