Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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