I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
