That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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