awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
