2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
