We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
