Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
