i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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