i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
