I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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