I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
