also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
