She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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