She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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