i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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