I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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