The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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