Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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