Do you still have your period?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
