you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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