Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
is it fun? or sober?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
