so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize