thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
