You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Little spoons don't ask big questions
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
