How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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