I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
