You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
