My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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