Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
