i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
