They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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