Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
