All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
