Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
