the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They have beer where we have blood.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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