I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
