We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
