I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
