Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
