I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
