Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
