I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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