I bet he comes in French.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
