we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
