Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
